Nectarines for the Needy? (a moment of #LiA)
|August 20, 2015||Posted by Aileen Sabira under About Aileen, Caring, Communication, Community, Compassion, Connected, Connections, Consciousness, emotional honesty, Gratitude, Healing|
So, SO much moves my heart these days. In SO many ways ….. I have been near tears since moments ago, a moment with a child in this place, feeling like I am in a war zone on the street where I live, loud police choppers almost 24/7, ambulances, guns popping on and off, police sirens an ongoing sound in the neighborhood, murder on the corner and other areas nearby……
Since moving into the inner city, there are daily moments to counter new challenges, and new spaces in humanity. I moved here because it was what I could afford. AND, at the same time, it was clearly a moment of surrender and asking God/The Divine (I use many names for the Divine, to me it is LOVE) ~ where do you want me?
I GIVE IN ….
WHERE DO YOU WANT ME?
And then, the next questions:
Why am I here?
Why did you put me HERE, in this place?
And the ongoing questions, dialogue and answers move my heart ….. and a huge leading to the children. The littles, yes, so deep to my heart. And God willing, the teens. They need SO much, SO deeply……
I am known as Ms. Hamda here ~ my first Sufi name, that interestingly I am beginning to live into beyond Sabira. Every moment the littles see me I hear ~
“Ms. Hamda, can we have an ice pop?”
And often “can we color?”
“Can we help you clean up the street?”
They are SO good at depth, so willing to BE good, to help …..
So now, when I get asked for ice pops, I have some simple rules:
- Did you have a meal already today? Breakfast or lunch? ~ and
- You can have one a day from me. I don’t want to overload you with sugar and yuck
Little Deonte called out to me. He thought I was going for a walk (Lord knows I need to walk more! The heat is hard for me, and it is SO much hotter in the inner city ~ trees and green space really DO make a difference!) Then “can we have an ice pop?” after I went over to check on them. They were working away on trying to fix their bikes.
I asked the usual, if they had breakfast. One beautiful little boy I had not seen before answered honestly, while he was working with a wrench to try to fix Deonte’s tire. “No ma’am, I didn’t. I haven’t eaten yet. We don’t have any food in our house.” I didn’t quite know what to say…. a little one who hadn’t eaten, and this was around noon …. another child said “Why did you say that to her?!” I encouraged honesty with what someone really feels, what is real for them, rather than lying to themselves or others. That it was better that way. The kids seemed to agree…..
Then I said “okay, you can have ice pops, after he gets something to eat. I’ll be back” My heart just wanted to break …. Aware as I walked away just how much the kids in the city need. Yes, we could get on our high horses and sit in judgment of others, the lifestyles people lead. Of their parents, you name it. But how do we know what their lives really are? I mean, REALLY?! I can feel the pain, struggle, depression and oppression so many have lived with, for so many years if not generations here ……
And where does that lead US, but to closed hearts, bitterness, severity and judgment? Distance and separation not only from them, but in a deep way from ourselves and our humanity?
I know, I have been warned that I am too kind and generous. There is a tempering I must learn in giving and in saying no/boundaries.
And still, how can I look away when there is a hungry child in front of me on the sidewalk?
Why would we or do we?
So ~ the nectarine …..
I walked into the house and wanted to give him something to eat. “There but for you go I….” My heart just about died, hurt so badly, to know this sweet little boy didn’t have food ……
I quickly pulled together some of my bread and peanut butter. I hadn’t made my jam yet …… so I was SO thankful my friend Karla had given me a bunch of nectarines for my RE-birthday/housewarming celebration on Sunday. Something fresh and healthy for him.
I went back out on the street and gave him this nut butter and bread sandwich, the nectarine, and some prepackaged crackers and peanut butter and a breakfast type bar to have for later. That sweet little thing dove on that food …… broke my heart…. so hungry he didn’t ask why the bread tasted funny (it was gluten free, it’s all I keep in the house)….. interestingly, when I stopped at the store yesterday I felt I HAD to get bread. I hadn’t had a sandwich in eons …. okay, more Divine guidance, as it wasn’t just for me……
And I was aware of how many children really count on the breakfast and lunch programs at the schools. And how many go without during the summers or school breaks. Again, we could judge. But who does that serve, but our own egos to try to feel better than someone else?
How can we be MORE to each other, and thus ourselves?
How much did it REALLY take for me to make some food for a little one who was starving?
How can we BE the LOVE that we are and can be?
BE #LiA for each other?!
Pick one thing.
Trust Your Heart.
AND DO IT!
“We can do no great things, but small things with great love” Mother Teresa
Don’t wait for the big thing, that picture we all can have (myself included) of some great, grand thing that people around the world will know that WE did something. WE made a DIFFERENCE.
Give a snack bar to a beggar * make a hungry child a sandwich * speak up when you know and see injustice *right a wrong * text someone just to know you are thinking of them * check on a friend or family member having a tough time * take an elderly person grocery shopping………
What can you add to the list? Please comment below …. your ideas, your thoughts on this, whatever moves your heart ……
For now, I have to soothe my heart and pray this sweet young boy feels fed, nurtured, cared for and loved.
Isn’t that what we really all need?
Peace ~ Aileen Sabira